THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP NEGOTIATION
Updated: Dec 2, 2020
Flaw: MY Way of Friendship
Law: OUR Way of Friendship
Have you ever thought about the need for negotiation in 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏?
When two parties come to the table to negotiate, they give and take until they reach a conclusion that both of them find acceptable. I've always thought about negotiation in terms of a business deal, a marriage or 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐭𝐮𝐛, but it never occurred to me in terms of friendship until recently.
If you've followed our story at all, you know that Tabatha and I spent 16 months apart after a close 8-year friendship that blew out and up (and finally over, thank God!). The coming back together has been really good and sweet and all the nice things, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, since a lot of who we were previously didn't work for both of us at different times.
Negotiation is an art, and although we're certainly not experts in hostage situations or company takeovers (yet), we have noticed a few everyday things that are helpful with two friends who love each other and want to be what the other one needs without compromising our whole selves to give it. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. It took us only eight years and sixteen months to figure that one out.
So, this week on the podcast, we'll hit some points of negotiation that will help close friends determine what's fair for both sides if things have become a little lop-sided. Especially if you've been friends for a while, these things are simply good to discuss for maintenance sake because 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. If we can help you clear the air and avoid a blow-up, then our eight-years-and-sixteen-months will have been worth it!
Here are a few questions to ask each other if you want to get the ball rolling. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞!
Honestly, pick just one question over a cup of coffee and I’ll bet you could fill up two hours and a couple of refills!
𝐖𝐞’𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭 with some straight-talking, realistic ways that you can negotiate your relationship while keeping your connection, which is always the goal of tough conversations. It’s not always easy but definitely worth it!
𝚁𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚙𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚆𝚎𝚎𝚔:
𝙿𝚛𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚆𝚎𝚎𝚔:
𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐲 for the Art of Negotiation to sweep over every single person that is in our 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐂𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐥𝐞. We pray that women WILL NOT LOSE but truly FIND themselves in the deep love and connection that comes in the form of humility and compromise. 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐧.
See you Friday!
𝒮𝓉𝒶𝒸𝑒𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒽 & 𝒯𝒶𝒷𝒶𝓉𝒽𝒶 𝐻𝒶𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈
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