Prayer: Friendship in Motion



FLAW- To Have Not

LAW- To Have

Ephesians 1:18

I pray that the light of God will illuminate the eyes of your imagination,

flooding you with light, until you experience the full revelation of the hope of his calling.


To Have or Have Not


We all know the importance of having a friend who will pray for us or even with us. Our praying friends comfort, encourage, and hold us with their prayers during dark and difficult times, and without a doubt are invaluable sources of God’s light in our lives through seasons of doubt, indecision, sickness, and volatility.


Simply put, we need friends who will pray for us, and we know we need them.


And yet, there is an almost inexplicable place of prayer, where deeper adventure and calling awaits, with a Friend who is your Haver.

What is a Haver?


This is a beautiful new word for us! As we set out to define Friendship and this journey we were being invited on— to live out deep connection and covenant for the purpose of fulfilling our callings together—common lingo such as “We’re best friends” didn’t quite touch it deeply enough.


When trying to explain our relationship, we found ourselves drawn to unusual words like “ox,” “yoke,” “together,” “covenant,” and “work.” Although we were a little hesitant to fully embrace this odd description of our friendship (Tabatha bucked the yoke while Stacey highly objected to the work!), we knew God was speaking something different, something we hadn’t heard before. So we waited and searched until God dropped a word into our laps, and as it came we knew we were being handed something so incredibly special.

Our first introduction was through a teaching Tabatha heard by author Kristi Mclelland, describing the Hebrew word havar as “one who helps you carry your water,” or, said another way, “one who helps you live out the weight of your life.”


As we dove further, we discovered havar meant "yoked together", and this rarely used Greek word was another form of the word haver (friend).


As Hebrew word scholar Skip Moen explains, the meaning of havar embodies pulling the load together, in the same direction, to accomplish the same purpose. It goes deeper than simply working in agreement or for the purpose of pleasure, but is more akin to a binding effort “to act as regents of the heavenly kingdom here on earth so that His name may be glorified.” (https://skipmoen.com/2010/02/leverage/)


We had finally discovered what God had been leading us to all along: We were Friendship (haver) in motion (havar)!

Skip wraps this up so beautifully:

Yoked means pulling together, not pulling apart. Yoked means deep friendship, anchored in common commitment. Yoked means not being alone. Yoked means holding hands while we travel the path of God’s purpose in a broken world. Yoked means not letting go.



Prayer with My Haver

From the time we met, prayer was our great adventure together as friends. We didn’t follow a script or method. We were just two women who wanted Jesus any way He wanted to come and decided to chase after Him together. We would spend hours worshiping, praying, laughing, and reading whatever Scriptures popped into our heads. Once or twice we might have set a place for Jesus at the kitchen table, but we will neither confirm nor deny this (except on the podcast, where we confirm many things we shouldn’t).

Through those deeply intimate, and often hilarious, prayer times, we discovered there was nothing quite like storming the gates of heaven alongside our friend, when neither of us would let go of each other, her prayers, or God’s enormous hands.


We pulled on heaven together as we traveled our own broken, pot-holed roads to highways marked by grace, snuggled safely within the love of a committed haver.

From Haver to Havar

We healed together. We laughed together. We cried together. We held hands. We danced. We sang. There was nothing off limits, as the purest expressions of ourselves were laid bare before each other and the Lord. It wasn’t embarrassing. It was FREEDOM. And we grew to love each other all the more because of it.

What we learned about prayer is that:

1. God loves to talk to us.

2. When we listen for His voice together, He responds by moving us into the world together.

3. There is a place where time doesn’t matter, where waiting on Him draws us closer because we’re pulling on Heaven together. This is where unity in the Spirit happens.

4. It is a never-ending conversation between the three of us. We don’t drift in and out of it; rather, we keep our hearts engaged together as we laugh, talk, and ponder things aloud, never forgetting that Jesus is there, talking to us as we talk to each other. He is our friend, too.

5. It is a sensory experience: we laugh, cry, feel, hear, and see heavenly things. Often we each are given a piece of the puzzle through one of those senses that wouldn’t make sense on its own, but put together becomes a clear picture of what we are to do next.

6. He has never once disappointed us by silence. In fact, He has never disappointed us with anything!

7. Through it, He invites us to go to places we’ve never been, dream dreams we’ve never thought of, and speak things we never knew.

Simply put, a life of prayer is the conversation between havers. It is the straps to the yoke. It is the “sweet counsel” we take as we walk together to the house of God (Psalm 55:13-14).


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-The Flaws of Friendship